More hurt, more love

The person who is more sensitive and aware, who sees how people are not being loving, and gets hurt by it, must be the one who is more loving, tolerant, patient, and accepting of less-than-loving behavior. This is the suffering prepared for those whose hearts are open and tender, who are ready to receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit. These souls will feel more pain, but will be more loving. For their love will be the love of God which they will call upon to comfort their broken hearts. Know that God is close to these souls and He will protect them from the darts of the worldly-minded.

"Cleanse ye your eyes, so that ye behold no man as different from yourselves. See ye no strangers; rather see all men as friends, for love and unity come hard when ye fix your gaze on otherness. And in this new and wondrous age, the Holy Writings say that we must be at one with every people; that we must see neither harshness nor injustice, neither malevolence, nor hostility, nor hate, but rather turn our eyes toward the heaven of ancient glory. For each of the creatures is a sign of God, and it was by the grace of the Lord and His power that each did step into the world; therefore they are not strangers, but in the family; not aliens, but friends, and to be treated as such.

Wherefore must the loved ones of God associate in affectionate fellowship with stranger and friend alike, showing forth to all the utmost loving-kindness, disregarding the degree of their capacity, never asking whether they deserve to be loved. In every instance let the friends be considerate and infinitely kind. Let them never be defeated by the malice of the people, by their aggression and their hate, no matter how intense. If others hurl their darts against you, offer them milk and honey in return; if they poison your lives, sweeten their souls; if they injure you, teach them how to be comforted; if they inflict a wound upon you, be a balm to their sores; if they sting you, hold to their lips a refreshing cup."

--from the writings of the Baha'i Faith

False self or real love?

One important reason people feel they cannot be emotionally vulnerable around others is that they are afraid to feel the pain of rejection, abandonment, shame, or criticism that came as children when they were vulnerable to their parents and failed to receive the proper love and acceptance from them. There is no real and solid love in them which would give them the sense of safety needed to be emotionally open to someone else. So we create a false self, one that fits into society's standard of how one should be, and as adults we use this fabrication to win the acceptance and validation from others that we failed to receive from our parents. As a matter of fact, the seeds of this false self began as children, as we conformed to our parents' and early caregivers' hopes and expectations of us, and molded our fragile personality into a shape which would give us the sense of being liked and loved. But we were not really loved, because this love was conditioned upon upholding this false self-image at all times, in order to feel safe around those whose praise and approval we thrived on.

Most of us don’t realize we are doing this. Our society has been so conditioned by patterns of denial, deception, and emotional protection, many of us cannot even entertain the idea of being emotionally vulnerable for too long, lest we risk losing our ability to function and succeed in our practical worldly responsibilities. Indeed, it will take a herculean effort of several brave souls at first in order to create the kind of sustained safe space needed to change the course of generations of socialization and overcome the resistance to conformity. For this, we need to find real love!

Real love means we are loved for our soul, just because we are a creature of God, and for no other reason. And real love is God's love. Love from us is only real when we are surrendered to His love, and our selfish motives are purified. And this purification is an ongoing process—a never-ending one. What we have in the world presently are noble attempts to fool each other and to gain approval for our fabrications by following what is basically an arbitrarily-created set of standards, one that does not reflect the spirit and ways of a loving God, although in some cases it may appear to do so. These standards, created by members of a “lamentably defective” society, create divisions among people. They create deep alienation in the hearts of those who follow these standards, and who give up God's standards. The fleeting pleasures that come from conforming to the ways of the world will ultimately create veils over your heart, and deprive you of the joys of the soul, and the true spiritual pleasures for which God has created us.

Why be vulnerable?

Being emotionally vulnerable with someone means allowing yourself to feel the various not-wholly-physically-caused sensations of your inner body, commonly called emotions, when you are in the presence of another person, including emotions that are specifically a reaction or response to that person. Usually, we are only aware of thoughts and judgments about the person or we are distracted with thoughts about the various aspects of our own life. We have learned to shut down our feelings since our previous experiences of being in touch with our feelings led only to hurt, fear, shame, and embarrassment. And we’ve learned that in order to be a success in this world, we must disregard our feelings. So we have covered these natural human sensations with a thick skin, with veils and barriers, and overlaid them with an artificial personality and self-image, which serve to ward off all the bad or uncomfortable feelings that might come up. And we see others doing the same thing, so it must be okay. As a matter of fact, we seem to get praised for having particular types of personality such as happy, smart, knowledgeable, successful-looking, attractive, spiritual, religious, funny, sweet, kind, charming, sexy. So we modify ours to gain approval and respect.

Now under all these fancy masks and costumes is something else altogether. In the basement of our psyche, is housed all kinds of fear, confusion, anger, hurt, desire, resentment, guilt, shame, hostility, inadequacy, and various aspects of ourselves we don’t like to acknowledge. Most people actually never confront these powerful feelings, for fear of exposure, fear that their whole artificial world will collapse.

One must ultimately reclaim all these hidden aspects of oneself by allowing the repressed feelings to emerge, and accepting them. In order to create love and unity, we must allow the emotional part of ourselves to be experienced, since God gave us these feelings for very important reasons. We can’t just suppress them and pretend everything is fine. We can’t fool God and we should not deceive others in this way. We all want to feel good and feel loved. We need to admit when we don’t feel good or loved, so we can find the answers to the problem of suffering for ourselves and for the world.

It is important that we stay open to all the thoughts and sensations that emerge as we relate to someone. Then we learn what to do with these thoughts and feelings, and what they mean—what they may teach us. We learn about ourselves, and we learn to purify our thoughts and feelings--not exterminate them. We must be loving with ourselves and not too forceful. We offer up what we feel to God, and as we receive His love and knowledge through faith in Him, our thoughts and feelings are purified and transformed, and His light and love envelop us. This brings us closer to God, closer to feeling His love, which will cause us to love others, and will greatly contribute to uniting the world.

Fears and desires

We perceive people through the filter of our fears and desires, as well as through the filter of our conditioning as to how we are supposed to view people. We project our fears, desires, and views onto others, and perceive them through these filters. What is a person really--when we see them without our filters? We don't know. That is the deeper truth, and that is where we must start. Then we can begin to let God guide us to truth.

One obvious example is how a man may see a woman through the filter of his sexual attraction and desire. Or a single woman may see another woman's baby through her desire to be a mother. In a work environment, we may see others through our fear of being fired, or being seen as inferior or incompetent.

We see ourselves according to an image, as well. And much of this image we have acquired through the projection of others, because that is how they wanted us to be--so we became that way to gain approval, and cover up the pain of vulnerability and inadequacy we felt. Since we were not loved for our inner self-- since no one saw that, understood it, or appreciated it, we formed an artificial self which conformed to the image others had of us or wanted us to be, which served their own desires and fears! Mother wants her child to succeed in the world because she never did, and felt inadequate. So she projects that fear of facing her inadequacy onto her child, and must see the child succeed (in the world) to make her feel good about herself. Then the child never feels loved for who he is inside, but only for the manufactured and synthetic image and behavior of a 'successful' person. Inside, both feel inadequate, and even more so because the message is that you're not good enough just being you--you have to be something artificial in order to be acceptable. This is a vicious cycle which must be broken by a few brave souls.

Here's one radical method for a small group:

Two or more people sit in a circle. One gets in touch with his immediate fears and desires, and verbalizes them. It may be, "I am feeling fear and anxiety right now. I want to say something smart so I appear competent and confident. But inside I just feel I want to be liked and accepted by you. I am scared I will be judged and rejected. I'm afraid that even saying this is wrong, and I feel ashamed about myself for even opening up like this. I have been running away from this place of neediness and vulnerability my whole life. Opening up is just bringing me more fear, but I guess since I feel safe to share it, it also brings comfort and trust."

Then you remember God's love and presence--that He is there listening and ready to take away the fear and replace it with healing love. The other person speaks as well…

Love and knowledge

When we like and dislike traits in people, it is a projection of our ego conditioning. Below our filter, is the reservoir of pure love for all. We cannot truly judge another, since we do not know how God sees him, we do not know his capacity or his upbringing. Yet the inherent laws of morality and religion are for all. This is still the ideal, since following them brings unity. But how each is following them has infinite determinants, and only God can be the final judge. We can love all despite their character traits and actions. We should love all, because that is how they will grow and change to better conform to the ideal.

To truly love someone, we need to be cleared away of our own ego concerns, or we will not have the space to listen and love. True love comes from God, and from communing with his spirit. Otherwise, we just create a false ego self which listens and speaks from the point of view of our particular ego conditioning. We must access the spirit realm in order to truly love another. Until then, we should be honest about the fact that we still have our own ego needs, fears, and desires. And together we can bring ourselves to God in prayer and worship. This way, we learn to rely on God when loving each other, instead of creating a false self on top of our inner fears and desires. Conventional love is usually only this false self connected to a warm feeling of false ego power and human relatedness, which does not access the Holy Spirit. Then a dependency and attachment is created to this false self in ourselves and others, and a veil is created against the Spirit. One must surrender even these attempts at love, in order to access the Spirit. These attachments on the human level seal off the Spirit, and become substitutes for one's relationship with God.

When we teach someone anything, the first thing to do is to love God and to love the person. The point is not to dispense information, but to create unity and show love. The knowledge is a reflection of God's grace, and the point is to glorify God. So hidden motives should be uprooted. These motives include self-exaltation, in order to compensate for an inner lack of self-worth. If this is the case, one should notice the inner shame, feel it, and surrender it to God, knowing that one is made worthy by the grace of God, not by one's selfish efforts--except by those efforts to acknowledge God and commune with Him, and do His will.

Get real and give it to God (audio)

I’m in the park, and I do my spiritual transformation work as I teach about it.

Emotions, time, and God

One can use emotions to connect with God. When you feel your feelings, you link yourself to a realm which includes past and future. Your fear remembers past moments, and anticipates future events. It is a warning signal that the soul needs security. The challenge is to fill it in and heal this pain with faith in God and not worldly objects. So one must hold the feeling in the body and call upon God using faith. When the spirit meets the feeling, the feeling will transmute. It is helpful to see how the emotion links you to a timeless realm—or one which includes all time realms. This is an indicator that your awareness is closer to God, since God also includes (and transcends) all time realms. The emotion is like a vehicle to travel through time into the timeless eternal.

Techniques for lessening or loosening anger that we have toward someone:

1) Focus on and feel the anger and judgment you have for this person. Notice that you are angry or judgmental of his outer behavior--his false, ego shell. Inside, he is fearful and alone, and his behavior is just a compensation for this inner insecurity; he is just asserting himself in a world of scary, competing egos. He is just trying to fit in and be loved. His bad behavior is a result of feeling alone and unloved, so he lashes out at others in desperation. But inside, we are all weak, needy people, wanting love and acceptance. Try to love what is inside the person.

2) Feel the anger and judgment you have for this person. Don’t focus on your thoughts and judgments about him, such as what he does or did wrong, how he is not behaving correctly, how he hurt you, how you are right and he is wrong. But focus on the feeling of anger in your body. Feel it as energy inside you. Know that it is covering up a hurt, a need inside you. Underneath is a softness, a vulnerability, a hurt. Can you sense the hurt inside? Let yourself feel the neediness underneath, and perhaps even cry. It is you who is hurting, who needs love. We project onto others and hold them responsible for our inner hurts, and it comes out in the form of anger, judgment, and resentment. By holding others responsible for our suffering, we forfeit our power to heal ourselves.

3) Realize that you are angry and judgmental because your ego wants him to be different because of your unfulfilled needs. Inside, you are weak and needy, and you want a behavior from him which satisfies you in some way. Can you notice his behavior with detachment? He is still in the hands of God at all moments. Hand him over to God. It is not your job to be angry at him. Know that God will help us as we put our trust in Him. God created him, and He will help soothe your hurts and needs, and loosen your anger towards this person.

How to love people and not backbite about them:

1. Everyone wants to be happy and avoid pain; they want to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. They have learned behavior patterns to accomplish these goals.

2. Everyone had a different upbringing and they developed different coping mechanisms in order to fulfill their needs for security and material and emotional happiness. Try to understand how their behavior is just a result of these conditioned responses to life, and they are unaware that what they are doing is causing you pain.

3. Imagine if this person said those things about you—how would it make you feel?

4. Imagine if that person heard what you are saying about him—how would it make him feel?

5. If you can get in touch with God’s love—His love for all of humanity--then you can cast a ray of His love from your heart to that person. God created everyone and His love surrounds all—so we must love all from God’s love.

6. All people were once small, helpless babies. Imagine that person as a small, helpless baby, perhaps as he was all those years ago. All adults are still like that baby, with the same needs for security, comfort, and love.

7. Imagine that person in a terrible car accident. You pass by on the street and see this person hanging out of his car, injured, crying for help.

Soultime

There is no present moment, because that refers to time, and time is an illusion from the side of human interpretation. The past is just as present as the present. The soul develops from implications of the past. So, the past is present in the present. In the soul realm, time in the way we see it, is incorporated into the substance of the soul, but it does not manifest in the way we see time. We cannot say our true self is a self divorced from the past—ours or the collective past. The true self incorporates the past into the soul realm, and transmutes it to its own substance, one which we can know only through spiritual eyes. The soul is also affected by the future in even more mysterious ways. Again, from the soul’s vantage point, future and past are one. The soul exists in another, higher dimension.

It's not your fault, it's not their fault

It is easier for a child to believe that he is to blame when he feels hurt by his parents. If he is to blame, then he deserves the pain. It is justice, his mind reasons. He did something wrong and bad, he is wrong and bad, therefore the pain and hurt is reasonable and he deserves it. If he were to realize he feels hurt because the parents were unjust, or were acting out of their own ignorance or lack of love, it would be too painful. This would mean he is unsafe, his parents don’t have real love, protection is an illusion, there is confusing and painful injustice. This pain is too much to bear, so the child believes he is to blame, and then all is well.

When we are older it is like this. If we are to blame, then the world is fine. It is just that you feel hurt, because you are bad, you deserve the punishment from people or from God. Ah, the world is fine, people are good, it is just that I am bad and wrong, so then the pain is reasonable and justified. Now if I see that other people are wrong or ignorant or unloving, what a terrible thing that is. Then I am really unsafe, I can’t trust anyone, and the world is not loving at all. This is a worse calamity for my heart and my life. This is more painful.

Yet this is just the reality we must face in our lives if we are to truly seek God’s love. When we discover that the people in the world are not the all-wise, all-loving people we thought they were, when veils of conditioning and idolatry fall away, then we see that people have been acting and posturing, and are covering their own fear and hurt. Oh no, we live in a world where no one knows truth or love. Wow, we really need to seek for something eternal and real. When we realize we are not any worse than other people, but we ascribed wrongness and badness to ourselves as a child, then it is a painful reality. All are in sin, all are unloving. We are truly in a desert world. We must seek God, Who is real.

If we hold on to the notion that we are bad and wrong, it will veil us from the truth. It will protect us from the pain that others are not as they say they are. Under the victim identity is hurt, even resentment. We had some notion that the parent was not acting out of love. It was put into the unconscious. Now we have resentment for the love we never received. It is too painful to acknowledge. But now we can face this because we know God loves us even if people cannot.

Okay, now we know it’s not our fault. But we’re still not sure. We still have the sense that we’re not good enough, we’re bad, and everyone else is doing it right. But if it’s not our fault, then it must be their fault. After all, we’ve got to do something about this nagging sense that it’s somebody’s fault, and somebody’s got to take the blame. So we project that sense of blame and shame onto others. Ah, it’s their fault, I’m absolved! Kind of gives you a sense of power. Ego power. Okay, fine for now. Underneath, we still feel we’re bad and wrong, but for now it’s covered up, and maybe if we don’t feel it now, it will go away and won’t bother us. Inevitably something happens, we feel hurt, and our inadequacy demon rears its head.

Okay, I get it. My parents didn’t give me perfect love, so I have a sense of not being whole, a sense that I’m not quite right, there’s a hole in my heart, and somebody’s to blame. Maybe my parents, maybe my ex-spouse, maybe my religious school teachers. The wound hurts a lot inside. It gets triggered by so many things. There is a strong emotional charge inside. There is anger and resentment towards people, particular people. What can I do? Well, if I get a good job and a good standing amongst my peers, I’ll surely feel good about myself, and that will cover up my wound. Or if I get a wife and family, with wonderful kids, I will feel whole and I will feel joy. After all, my religion says I should have these things. Oh, of course if I follow the laws of my religion, and do what the good book says, then I will certainly win favor with God and I will gain the approval and respect of my peers and teachers. This way I will surely feel great and my feelings of fear and inadequacy will be gone forever.

Hmm, but why is it that no matter what I do, there is this gnawing fear and guilt that somehow I’m still not good enough? And no matter what I do in the world, there is still a sense of longing, of being incomplete, like there is some higher love I am just not getting.

If we step back, we can see what is happening. All of us carry wounds from our life. We cover up this hurt, and the fear of getting more hurt, with many things. We try to conform to what people expect of us. We did this with our parents. We had little choice. We had to do what they said and become what they wanted us to become in order for us to receive their approval, and to receive the benefits of childhood, such as comfort and security. Inside, our wounded heart went into hiding. As adults, we fit into the little molds and roles carved out for us in society. These acts ensure that we feel secure and that we continue to receive the material benefits that we’ve been taught make our lives happy. Playing the roles also ensures us that we will be liked and respected by others, so we don’t have to feel hurt and lonely, and so that demon of guilt and inadequacy doesn’t torment us. We blame others, but others hurt us because they are caught in the same trap we are. They are just doing their best to ward of their feelings of inadequacy or fear—they just want to avoid feeling hurt as well. So we can’t really blame them.

But now we find ourselves constantly doing things, running away from our pain, caught up in this worldly game of acquiring things and people, and attempting to prove to ourselves and others that we are worthy and good enough. Good enough for what? For love, for acceptance, for approval—because inside we still feel unworthy, inadequate, guilty. Boy, do we need something different. Something not of this world. Something to renew us and heal us and cause us to know that we are approved and accepted and acceptable. But more than that. We need to know we are loved, loved deeply, and not because of anything we did. We are loved because we were created. God created each one of us, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Since He created us, we can be sure He meant for us to be here, and there is a divine reason for our life. His love is ever-present. He knows about us, even if we don’t know about ourselves. We can put our trust in Him. We can take our confusion, fears and guilt to Him. He knows what we do, and He knows how to help. We all want to be loved and to love others. Let’s turn to Him for instruction--to the Manifestation of God’s holy light. Through Him we can learn what is real and what is false. It will take time and work to reverse the conditioning and wounding and mistaken understandings we have been taught by society. But we can help each other. Please let’s help each other do this.

Kinds of ego

Core ego strength comes from love received in early years or mystical experiences: feeling the love of God sufficiently to create a sense of core love and security.
Superficial ego strength comes from external validation from others in adult life; worldly pleasures and worldly security from money, possessions, job, relationships: friends, family, etc.

Then comes mystical presence and an experience of transcendence of self/ego. This can lead to ego strength, but is not necessarily ego strength if it is accompanied by an acute and continued acknowledgment of the Manifestation's presence and superiority.

When one needs to ward off feelings of inadequacy and deficiency, the ego structure is more rigid and less permeable. When one grows up with love from mother, the ego structure is more flexible, since there is not the sense of doom that accompanies release of ego defenses. Of course if you grow up with love (ego/worldly love--the only kind you'll get from parents these days), you might have less pain and therefore less incentive to strive for spirituality and transcendence of ego.

There is spiritual materialism and there is spiritual intellectualism, which is talking about spiritual things without any transcendence, emotional changes, or transformations occurring.

Technique for removing veils of self:

What am I doing? Am I doing this because I am supposed to, or because someone told me to, or because I want to?

How do I feel?

What do I want?

What am I afraid of? What am I protecting myself from?

After we identify what we want or what we are afraid of (I want financial security. I want a relationship. I am afraid of the feelings that come if I don’t have money. I am afraid of being alone and not being liked by people. I am afraid of feeling vulnerable and needy. I want to feel love and comfort.)…

Then feel the ‘I want, or ‘I desire’, and the ‘I fear’ or ‘I am afraid’. Feel the desire and fear. I am afraid of (getting hurt or feeling pain). I want (to be free from pain and unhappiness). Feel it in the body, be aware of the sensations in the body related to the fear and desire.

Then come back to the ‘I’ itself. What is it that is wanting, what is it that is fearing? When you can identify with the essential ‘I’, you realize it is distinct from all of the ego wanting and feeling—it is transcendent of all the feelings and thoughts.

Remain in the awareness that is detached from the feelings and thoughts, but still remain aware of your feelings. Feel it as energy and sensations in the body.

Then remove the last veil, and activate your faith in God, and realize that before your essential ‘I’, exists God, your Creator. Behind it all is the love of God. Then you can have the experience of coming home and being warmed by the love of God, who takes away your fear and desire, since He is the Desire of the world.


Put more simply: 1) Directly perceive through your awareness and intelligence that you desire the pleasures and comforts of the world. Notice how you are desiring those things to which you were conditioned to desire from your childhood—good work, spouse, house, good health, money, possessions, worldly position, power, influence. Directly perceive how you are immersed in a sea of conditioned materialism, and therefore remote from God and the transcendent Kingdom which is sanctified from the joys of this world.

2) With this same awareness and intelligence, remember and perceive the infinite Source, Baha’u’llah, the Word of God. In fact, surrender this awareness to Him, realize that He created it and He created you, and that He is the Ultimate Comforter.

Religious materialism

8/24/07, concerning news about Mother Teresa's inner emptiness while serving:

This is very significant. This shows, among other things, that just doing service does not bring the love of God into your heart (don't get me started!). Let's talk about this. This news has profound implications and reveals a universal trend, I believe, which is swept under the rug in the name of projecting an image of godliness without having a genuine connection with the Holy Spirit. The rationalization goes: well who cares about the Holy Spirit as long as you get the work done! What is the work, my friend, but sharing the love of God with others so in their hearts they feel a deep consolation which is sanctified from this world? Food for thought. Hey, I'm not saying don't do worldly and material work. I'm saying without the love of God, this world is materialistic and meaningless, but don't take my word for it, read it in the Scriptures of all the religions.

And often doing work in the world makes it harder to feel the love of God in your heart, because you have to create a shell in order to be around people, and that shell veils you from experiencing a deep and transcendent feeling of connection with God. You might feel a connection with another person, though, but it is attachment to this world, via the other person. I didn't say don't do work in the world, I just said it makes it harder to feel the presence of God when you're around people who don't consider the spiritual reality.

Let me clarify a little. These are all ideas-in-process, and are open to revision. My 'gripe' is not with good action, service, and work, which necessarily creates an external appearance of godliness or accomplishment. The problem is the contradiction with our own inner state in terms of our happiness. Often our source of happiness comes from the validation and approval we receive from others or give to ourselves for these acts of service or accomplishment, instead of deriving our sense of value, worth, joy and peace from the only source of joy and value--the love of God for us and His acceptance of us, which is a constant. Our actions become a kind of 'religious' materialism. Also, when we give approval and validation to others for the appearance of accomplishment or godliness without knowing their inner state, we are propagating the cycle of illusory attachment to the external world as the source of happiness and love. This also supports the idea that eventually we need to relate more honestly and openly with each other. But that's another conversation!

The love and acceptance we receive from God comes through our spiritual practice (which includes service) and sincere prayers, and the path of self-purification and detachment. This path is often relegated to secondary status, due to our materialistic conditioning and lack of education about the importance of an inner spiritual life, as well as a lack of understanding of what exactly an inner spiritual life is. These issues are often overlooked by many religious leaders today, so that an appearance of godliness and unity can instead prevail. Often appearance is given more importance than inner reality. This is again because security and comfort is being sought in the approval and acceptance of others, or in external accomplishment, rather than in our trust in God. It is indeed difficult and understandably threatening to expose and resolve these issues, but can't we begin an honest dialogue for the sake of healing ourselves and the world?

Here is a strong verse, but not to be taken too literally (obviously it is not saying that it is harmful to help an injured person if you don't happen to have the transcendent feeling of the love of God in your heart at that very moment!):

"All things are beneficial if joined with the love of God; and without this love, all things are harmful, and act as a veil between man and the lord of the kingdom." --'Abdu'l-Baha

In His service,
Bob Charnes

Posts from my Baha'i Yahoo! Group: Healing and Transformation

(May 16, 2001):

Some days are better than others for me. I have been struggling lately, but that is good. All this suffering has been forcing me to turn to God for comfort. This mortal, transient world provides only superficial happiness, and it is usually followed by woe. The wise man does not attach himself to this world. But alas, we live in cultures permeated by materialism, and we find ourselves craving the things of the world, and forgetful of our God, who created us. He will supply us our needs, and we should rely upon Him. But we must learn to commune with Him, and work to build a world founded on eternal principles. This is the New World Order which we have been called to create, amidst the chaos and siren voices of this crumbling old world. What a daunting task for all of us! Many of us slip into illusion, become caught in the undertow of materialism, and forget who we truly are and what we have been called to do. It is so difficult to rise above the worldly attachments we have been conditioned into, and follow that inner guidance beyond the voices of the world. Baha'u'llah has revealed His Word and His guidance. But we must filter through the worldly desires and promptings, and focus on the spiritual worlds, and let the healing power of the Holy Spirit into our minds, hearts and lives, and begin to truly transform ourselves. Let's hope we can support one another in this monumental and oh-so-urgent task.

"Whenever you see tremendous personal problems in your private lives...according to our teachings one of their wisdoms is to teach us the impermanence of this world and the permanence of the spiritual bonds that we establish with God, His Prophet, and those who are alive in the faith of God."

"O thou servant of God! Do not grieve at the afflictions and calamities that have befallen thee. All calamities and afflictions have been created for man so that he may spurn this mortal world--a world to which he is much attached. When he experienceth severe trials and hardships, then his nature will recoil and he will desire the eternal realm--a realm which is sanctified from all afflictions and calamities. Such is the case with the man who is wise. He shall never drink from a cup which is at the end distasteful, but, on the contrary, he will seek the cup of pure and limpid water. He will not taste of the honey that is mixed with poison."

In Baha'i love,
Bob


(May 24, 2001):

It's all about catching the spark and spreading the fire. We need to be attracted to God, develop a spiritual awareness, sustain and maintain that awareness, and then apply it to our material tasks in creating the New World Order. We need to be continually fed by the Spirit of Baha'u'llah, through prayer and reading the Writings. We need to create a momentum, and begin to influence others, and draw them in with love and knowledge, to the realm of transcendent reality, and create patterns of thought, behavior, relationships, work and progress based on this higher awareness, knowledge, and love. Of course, since this Reality is ever-present, and always accessible, it should be easy! But no, it is not, because the gravity of our worldly conditioning and ego impulses are constantly pulling us away from our real work. And we are working in a society created in the style of the old world order. In this society, we really need to stay aware of how we are being influenced by the materialism around us. (Read Peter Khan's talk on mental tests: http://www.bahai-library.org/talks/nature.of.tests.html.)

And we need to quickly build support systems to help us stay above water (the sea of materialism), so we can maintain and sustain the spiritual awareness of God's love, comfort, hope, wisdom, and strength. We need to learn and teach the process of change and growth. Many people are working only on the surface level, but that will not inspire entry by troops. We must be brave and truly consecrate our lives to this Revelation, and surrender ourselves, and throw ourselves into the fire of His Love. Yes, we need to access that love, and I know that is a struggle for all of us today. It will come--God will help us.

From Ridvan message 2001: "May He Who keeps watch over the destiny of His divine System guide and direct and confirm every effort you make towards the realization of the urgent tasks set before you."


(May 25, 2001):

Yes, we are influenced by the world from every direction. I have been calling on God to help me, to keep me above water. It is very lonely, even amongst Baha'is. If we could only really create a powerful force for good, that was different, that was rooted in the Spirit, and in authenticity, and honesty. We would have to be honest with ourselves, and with each other. This society teaches you to put on an act, to play a role, to deny your true feelings, to be superficial, or to follow the desires of the lower self, in order to fit into the old world order. Yet as Baha'is, we are supposed to be different. Yet, many of us don't know what to do, how to be, since all we know is what we have acquired from the world. We do need a revolutionary consciousness, as drastic as that sounds. But that is what the Word of God implies. We must re-create society. Shoghi Effendi says this in Messages to America. So we must innovate and pioneer new roles for ourselves and for the people. We have all the arts and sciences at our disposal, and all the creative energy and power of Baha'u'llah's Spirit! We have only to call upon our Lord, with fervency and urgency, and he will come to our aid!!


(May 25, 2001):

"...If a small number of people gather lovingly together, with absolute purity and sanctity, with their hearts free of the world, experiencing the emotions of the Kingdom and the powerful magnetic forces of the Divine, and being at one in their happy fellowship, that gathering will exert its influence over all the earth. The nature of that band of people, the words they speak, the deeds they do, will unleash the bestowals of Heaven, and provide a foretaste of eternal bliss. The hosts of the Company on high will defend them, and theangels of the Abha Paradise, in continuous succession, will come down to their aid."
--Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha, p 81.

This is the ideal. The perfume of this sentiment is powerful enough to cleanse us, if we let it. Let us not be afraid, though, to be honest with ourselves if we cannot live up to this ideal. Let us be authentic. This verse is sent to us by a Divine Will, Who understands that we are imperfect and weak. He wants us to acknowledge that we indeed are weak, but that He is strong, and if we surrender our lives to Him, He will make us strong, and we can accomplish His goals, through His spirit and power. But let us come out from our pride and worldly striving, and enter into the calm of His Grace, Wisdom and commanding Authority, and we can feel the fire of His warmth, and all the tools to transform this world are here awaiting us! This is the transformation--the surrendering of our will into His.

"Every single letter proceeding from Our mouth is endowed with such regenerative power as to enable it to bring into existence a new creation--a creation the magnitude of which is inscrutable to all save God. He verily hath knowledge of all things."

If we could only tap into that regenerative power! I hope these verses can inspire us to transcend our worldly impediments and follow the sweet Voice of the Creator, who is lovingly and firmly beckoning us to follow His mighty plan, and enter into a heavenly realm, while we walk with practical feet. It means keeping aware of this eternal, spiritual world, while being here on earth and implementing and building the machinery of an organized society--but while we have this old world around us--albeit, a crumbling old world! So the processes of integration and disintegration happen simultaneously.

"The divine spirit which finds expression in man is manifested to a limited degree in all creation. Indeed, according to Baha'u'llah, the entire physical world is a reflection of the spiritual one. This physical world is the place where human beings acquire knowledge of God and, through their relationship with Him, learn about their spiritual reality."
--Baha'u'llah's Teachings on Spiritual Reality, p 61-62

The two worlds are coherent--the spiritual is infused in the physical. So we need not be split personality. We can be spiritual while in a human body in this world! But let us remember the spiritual aspect is the higher, eternal reality, even though the world tries to convince us otherwise. Just ask the people who have gone on to the afterlife! So the Power of God is here, at our disposal, at any time, no matter where we are or what we are doing.

"The friends must realize the Power of the Holy Spirit which is manifest and quickening them at this time through the appearance of Baha'u'llah. There is no force of heaven or earth which can affect them if they place themselves wholly under the influence of the Holy Spirit and under its guidance."
--Shoghi Effendi, from The Power of Divine Assistance

Please feel free to share. I am struggling, but I gain strength from sharing and connecting with you.

Bob


(June 12, 2001):

The world is disintegrating, but thank God He has given us hope through the message of Baha'u'llah! I have been reading the new book prepared under the supervision of the UHJ called Century of Light. It is extremely inspiring. I believe this summer there will be some serious changes in the thinking of Baha'is. I will be working on it in my part of the world. I am struggling to find people who understand, but I know God will bless my efforts. Here in the Triangle area, NC, we are a focus point for large-scale growth in the Baha'i community. We have some real progressive thinkers. All we have to do is infuse them with the Spirit, and that is not easy--but God will cause it to happen in His time. I must be patient, and keep praying and making efforts. We must have the 'will to act, and the faith to persist.'

From Century of Light: "One only has to read, even cursorily, accounts of the lives of the early Baha'is in the West to become aware of the high degree of individuality that characterized many of them, particularly the most active and creative." "Their response arose from a level of consciousness that recognized, even if sometimes only dimly, the desperate need of the human race for spiritual enlightenment. To remain steadfast in their commitment to this insight required of these early believers--on whose sacrifice of self much of the foundation of the present-day Baha'i communities both in the West and many other lands were laid--that they resist not only family and social pressures, but also the easy rationalizations of the world-view in which they had been raised and to which everything around them insistently exposed them."

From 'Abdu'l-Baha, quoted in Century of Light: "Such was our state when a letter came to us from the American friends. They had covenanted together, so they wrote, to remain at one in all things, and ... had pledged themselves to make sacrifices in the pathway of the love of God, thus to achieve eternal life. At the very moment when this letter was read, together with the signatures at its close, 'Abdu'l-Baha experienced a joy so vehement that no pen can describe it...."

Also by 'Abdu'l- Baha from Century of Light: "Ye must become the very soul of the world, the living spirit in the body of the children of men. In this wondrous Age, at this time when the Ancient Beauty, the Most Great Name, bearing unnumbered gifts, hath risen above the horizon of the world, the Word of God hath infused such awesome power into the inmost essence of humankind that He hath stripped men's human qualities of all effect, and hath, with His all-conquering might, unified the peoples in a vast sea of oneness."

May God bless all your efforts to bring healing and light into your lives and into the lives of others!

In Baha'i love,
Bob


(March 13, 2002):

I am trying to assemble a group here in the Triangle area of North Carolina which will be an example of an authentic, spiritual and unified group. But it is hard--very hard. The world and worldliness traps people so they don't know what their authentic self is. They have conformed to the standards and behaviors of the world without knowing it, since everybody else is doing the same conforming. And most Baha'is have been caught in a pretense, projecting an idealized self-image of what a good Baha'i should be, but inside they have not truly addressed their real needs. They have spent much of their lives creating a mask, or false self, and have felt forced to uphold this image, but they are not able to be unified or spiritual, since they are not authentic. There can be no intimacy this way, and intimacy with God is limited. We need to be real with each other and with God. This usually takes suffering to break down the defenses we have built up over the years. And we have conformed to what we thought was expected of us. But it is not working. It works for the old world order illusion--but we are trying to create a new world, based on Reality, so we will have to be different. We have to expose the deception. Yes, lovingly and gently--and sometimes I am impatient. There are non-Baha'i books out there that deal with these themes: The Different Drum (M. Scott Peck), The Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz), Debbie Ford's books, and many others.

We need to create safe environments so we can let down our masks and learn to be our authentic selves. We will have to feel free to show our dark side to a certain extent, and we will have to attempt to transmute our characters and spiritualize ourselves from this place of authenticity, where we will see our defects and faults, and we will see the defects and faults of others. So we will have to be loving with ourselves and to others on a new level. All this fluffiness--this plastic Baha'i niceness must give way to genuine connection and loving the person through to their authentic self, which might not be so lovely and sweet, and may be scared, guilty, hurt, angry, bitter, lonely, unhappy, or full of shame. Of course this work will be done in small groups first, since most Baha'is will not be ready for this, until more suffering comes into their lives. Then they will be forced into it. We can only keep up the charade as long as our worldly attachment life is satisfying us. When tests come, the veils fall away, and we need to reach into a deeper part of ourselves, and we search for a renewed faith, a deeper connection with people and with God. But if our worldly life is fine, rarely do we search for deeper meaning. Believe me, the searching masses want authentic love and spirit, that cares deeply, and is humble and real and compassionate. They don't want the plastic niceness, with a table full of food, and fluffy formalities and materialism. They see through that.

We Baha'is must do the work of authenticating ourselves, and spiritualizing our lives from this place of authenticity. This will take work, and creating safe environments without the usual judgments and limiting viewpoints. We want to be a love, wisdom and spirit-based community, not a material and Baha'i image-based community. We want the real thing! Shoghi says the people want not an imitation, but Truth! So we will have to search hard to see these truths, and we will have to give up old ways of thinking and being. No more old world order thinking and being. It is time for the building of the new world order on the inner plane, as well as the outer! We need to revamp, to reorient our ways! Time to transform and heal! Because of my living situation, I don't spend much time on the internet, so I am not posting often. But I believe these themes are very pertinent for now, so I will try to post more, and please feel free to respond with your thoughts.

In Baha'i service,
Bob


(Sept. 16, 2002):

Hi All! I've been feeling more hopeful lately, because I know the forces of spiritual unity are irresistibly drawing us together. As the old world crumbles, and the disintegration of society advances ever closer, the concomitant forces of integration and unity are poured out for us. As we face the brink of a possible world-wide conflict, we know that healing spiritual powers will be poured out to those who call upon God in this time. It is a time to arise and unite and exploit the suffering of humanity to bring the redemptive message of Baha'u'llah to the confused masses. If there is suffering, then there needs to be healing. And it is time to arise and call upon Baha'u'llah and His love like never before, as we confront the tribulation of the times. For those who still suffer, know that God is ever-present, and He will work with us as we make sense out of the chaos. We must strive to become spiritual, and to detach from this world of conflict, illusion, and materialism. We need to join together and help one another, and learn and teach with humility and compassion. I pray that our conversations are elevated in consciousness, and we can learn to focus more on spiritual solutions, rather than worldly strivings. I pray that the sense of self, whether it is blame or acclaim, pride or abasement, is surrendered and dissolved within the love and glory or God, so that His strength becomes our hope. Then we trust in Him, and our soul is comforted!

Love,
Bob


(Jan. 11, 2003):

Hi all! As we struggle through this difficult in-between time, let us realize that all suffering has a wisdom and a lesson. We may not always understand it right away, though. But God is aware of our pains and struggles, He knows our every thought, and He is our wise Father. In the spiritual world, there is completeness, joy, and constancy. The Kingdom is the real world, and this world is only its shadow stretching out. Let's remember our connection to the Eternal life, the spirit world, where we are free and our hearts soar in the bliss of spiritual joy and knowledge. When I am sick or in pain, I allow myself to feel the pain, and in allowing myself to feel it, with no negative judgment, I also allow myself to freely receive and feel God's loving Grace--as I remember His Words and promises. Let's all pray that we can trust again and that we find safe places to allow ourselves to feel our pain all the way to the end, where we will find God's love and knowledge waiting to guide us and lift us up on His wings. This love--feeling it and knowing it, and trusting it, will be our healing. Authenticity, courage, trust, hope, love, wisdom. May all these beautiful qualities and more be yours in the coming days and weeks. My love to you all!

Bob


(Jan. 15, 2003):

Thanks for the currents of movement occurring here. I guess it is the ocean of desire in our hearts--desire for love, connectedness, unity. We want to break out of complacency, we want to see ourselves and others emerge from the cocoons of materialism, and begin to soar on the wings of authenticity, and even more, on the wings of the Spirit. It is hard for most of us to face ourselves--how this society has deceived us, and how we have chosen the standards of this society as a measure for our lives. Now we need to go through the painful process of transmutation. The old self must fall away, and the new, spiritual creature is born in its place. Many of us are in the midst of such a transformation, but we become stuck. We feel we need help and assistance on a greater level than we have heretofore received. We have few living examples of this new creature. It is uncharted territory. We are at an evolutionary precipice. There must be a critical mass of people who want this next step of growth. There are many authenticity movements out in the world. We can learn from them. But we need to fuse this knowledge and practice with the Baha'i Spirit. I am ready to discover, to work for it, to try, to put my talents and abilities on the table of sacrifice for the good of humanity and service to the Cause. Who else is willing to surrender their lives to serve the Cause and dedicate their gifts and talents to this service? Lord, lead us to those people whom you see fit that we work with, to advance your Cause and the process of entry by troops! Assist us, make us victorious by the power of your Holy Spirit!

Love,
Bob


(Jan. 16, 2003):

Ah, there is no escape from God's irresistible unifying power of Love! Of course we can prolong it with our own selfishness! But, ah, we are in a society based on ego and competition and materialism, and it is so hard to get free of the entanglements of this world, and to soar on the wings of holiness, especially if everyone around you is also caught in the same web! Help us, God, this is not funny! Get us out of this mess! We are sorry for our sins, sorry for turning away from you, sorry for living for our egos and worldly desires! We want You, only You--we want only what You desire for us! Please help us and bring us to Your loved ones, free us from the meshes of this world and our corrupt desires. We long to hold Your holy hand, and we long for the freedom of worshiping You without restraint. We long to be transported to the precincts of Your sacred domain, and we want that world to be our world, so that we can live here in our bodies, but be living by Your grace alone, through the power of Your Holy Spirit. Transform us into Your likeness, penetrate our hearts and souls, and transmute our darkness into light, so that we may shine for all to see! Bring us companions, oh Lord, so our journey here is not so lonely and desolate. Lighten our hearts and send a breeze of holiness into our lives, please, oh Lord. We long for Your presence to be with us all the day long. Help us Lord!

Bob